5 Tips for Overcoming Adversity

Whether we like it or not, adversity is part of life.

Overcoming adversity is one of the biggest hurdles we face.

As Havelock Ellis wrote, "Pain and death are part of life. To reject them is to reject life itself."

Problems, large and small, present themselves to us throughout our existence.

Regardless of how sharp, clever, or happy-go-lucky we are, we will encounter struggles, challenges, difficulties, and, at times, heart-wrenching moments. Is this meant to be a negative, cynical assessment of what we have to look forward to?

Not at all!

Thank goodness for adversity! Learning to deal with and overcome adversity builds character and resilience. Every challenge and difficulty we successfully confront in life strengthens our will, confidence, and ability to conquer future obstacles.

The Greek philosopher Herodotus said, "Adversity has the effect of drawing out strength and qualities of a man that would have lain dormant in its absence."

When you respond positively and constructively to your biggest challenges, the qualities of strength, courage, character, and perseverance emerge deep inside you.

Of course, since we are human, it is very easy to get caught up in the self-pity, unfairness of life, or 'why me?' traps. When we do, we fail to recognize the opportunities for wisdom and growth accompanying adversity. However, as soon we allow ourselves to think more clearly, we can let go of self-defeating and unproductive thoughts and deal with what's before us.

5 Tips For Overcoming Adversity

1. Be aware of and accept that adversity is inevitable in life. As has already been pointed out, adversity is part of life. To avoid or resist it will only make it persist. Everywhere you look in the world, there is an unmistakable struggle. There are floods, tsunamis, wars, and calamities of all types. There is death, loss, and tragedy even within your circle of family and friends. Although pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. So what do you do?

2. Build your internal resources. Before adversity hits, cultivate emotional strength, courage, and discipline. Knowing that certain difficulties are inevitable, you can mentally prepare yourself for confronting adversity head-on. It would be no different than a warrior going to battle. He (or she) prepares himself physically and mentally for any possibility. He knows it could be ugly, daunting, and grueling, but he is equipped.

More often than not, when you're prepared for the worst, the worst never happens or is much less severe than anticipated. Another invaluable inner resource is faith. Faith that everything will work out, that there is always light at the end of the tunnel, and that "this too shall pass." Everything in life has its place and purpose.

3. Build your external resources. Build a support system of family and friends. When the going gets tough, we all need encouragement and support. We need someone to talk to, someone to help ease the burden. You would be surprised to discover how often a friend has had a similar experience and can help guide you through a difficult time. Knowing a friend is there when you need them can be most comforting.

4. That which does not kill you doesn't always make you stronger. Sorry Nietzsche! While I agree with Nietzsche, in principle, "that what does not kill you will make you stronger, " I do not necessarily agree with him in practice. For instance, adversity can crush you if you lack built-up resilience or experience dealing with difficulty. On the other hand, if you have sufficient resilience, it will make you stronger. How so, you ask?

Like any muscle, resilience is built up gradually and exponentially with repeated exposure to obstacles. One traumatic event can take you down if you lack practice confronting obstacles (as when choosing to avoid them).

Developmental research has shown that traumatized children are more, rather than less, likely to be traumatized again. Likewise, those who grow up in tough neighborhoods become weaker, not stronger, and are more likely to struggle in life.

5. Take inspiration and learn from others who have dealt successfully with adversity. There are many inspiring stories of people who overcame seemingly insurmountable odds. Instead of surrendering to it, they triumphed over their adversities to live successful, productive lives.

Here are some examples:

Helen Keller: Lost her eyesight and hearing due to a mysterious fever when she was only 18 months old. She overcame her deafness and blindness to become a robust, educated woman who spoke about and promoted women's rights.

Winston Churchill: Overcame a stuttering problem and poor performance in school to become Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and one of the most influential political leaders of the twentieth century. He was also known for his powerful and rousing speeches.

Wilma Rudolph: The Olympian born prematurely, the 20th of 22 children. She overcame double pneumonia, scarlet fever, and polio to win three Gold medals in track at the 1960 Rome Olympic Games.

J.K. Rowling: Born to a poor family, left a bad marriage with a young baby to live on government assistance; wrote her first Harry Potter book and was turned down by most publishers until Bloomsbury Publishing picked it up. Need I say more?

Determination, resilience, and persistence enabled these great people to overcome their adversities and prevail. If they could do it, surely the rest of us can summon the strength and courage to do the same!

Points to Consider

• The difficult times in life help us appreciate when things are going smoothly.

• Look for learning opportunities in every adverse situation.

• Decide whether you will allow your experience to make or break you. Depending on how you perceive it, it could go either way.

• Be prepared to accept the worst, should it occur. When you have prepared yourself mentally for the worst, it rarely happens; if it does, it seems less so because you are better equipped to handle it.

• Cultivate faith, courage, and resilience. The more of these qualities you possess, the lesser the impact of the adversity.

• Remind yourself that adversity is part of life. Accepting adversity helps you overcome it.

Overcoming adversity is one of life's main challenges. When we resolve to confront and overcome it, we become experts at dealing with it and consequently triumph over our day-to-day struggles.