Acceptance

Acceptance is necessary for coming to terms with what we have no control over or cannot change.

Life is hard and not always fair. Things happen. Situations don't always work out the way we want them to. Rather than becoming resentful or discouraged, we must learn to practice acceptance.

It does not mean being complacent or denying what is. It means to be willing to see things as they are.

There is a Buddhist principle that states suffering doesn't derive from pain but from attachment to pain, which suggests non-attachment can also be vital to lessen suffering.

Indeed, acceptance can positively impact our mental health and overall well-being. We release ourselves from unnecessary stress and tension when we accept a situation. We no longer waste energy trying to change things we cannot control; instead, we focus on finding peace and contentment in the present moment.

How do we learn to accept the unavoidable or unpredictable?

We do not deny that unfortunate circumstances exist and expect that life will always go our way, nor do we fall apart in helplessness and give up. Admittedly, the first reaction to extreme difficulty or tragedy is often the desire to fall apart and give up; however, staying as calm as possible is essential.

At times, denial seems to be a better option than facing calamity. However, after we get over the initial blow and shock to the system, we have to make a decision. Do we let the event incapacitate us, or do we accept what we cannot change and make the best of the situation?

There is no question that acceptance doesn't come easily. It might even be necessary to take time to process what has happened, put it into perspective, or contemplate it for a while.

Talking to empathetic friends or getting counseling is also beneficial, but at some point, we must come to terms with a situation and accept it.

Most psychological suffering is caused by avoidance or escape from life's challenges. We cannot avoid problems. We must face them, and by coming to terms with them, we alleviate unnecessary suffering.

As soon as we accept a situation we cannot change, we free ourselves from it, and it becomes easier to handle.

As the famed humanist psychologist Carl Rodgers said:

"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change."

Indications of a lack of acceptance:

• You feel hopeless and powerless to change

• You are angry at everything and everyone

• You resort to unhealthy coping strategies such as drugs and alcohol

• You are resentful, hold grudges, and refuse to move on from a situation

• You wonder why something is happening to you

In cultivating a mindset of acceptance, we become more flexible and open-minded. We learn to adapt to change with grace and resilience instead of resisting it. Accepting life's uncertainty and unpredictability can lead to a more profound sense of fulfillment and inner peace.

"Happiness can exist only in acceptance." George Orwell